the focus of this post is to consider one characteristic, defensiveness, and the impact it has on others in close relationships. at their root, all defensive behaviors have this in common: sending a message to the other person that what the person is saying is wrong or a problem. the takeaway message is that such confrontation — as fair or appropriate as it may be — is unacceptable and will not be allowed. when a person gets extremely defensive, the limbic system in their brain — the one involved with the processing of emotions — has been activated. humans have the capacity for all sorts of mental activities that sets them apart from other mammals, but it is important to remember that, at root, human beings are still living, breathing organisms that have automatic survival systems built in for self-protection.
though a human being’s version of protecting himself will look different — say, in the form of getting defensive — the defensive reaction is just as primitive, quick and — yes, brain-based — as an alligator’s. in the moment, the frustrated party often feels stunned and confused, as if they’ve been cast as an opponent or enemy all of a sudden, dismissing altogether the history the two have as allies. you’re reacting like you don’t know me or, worse, like you hate me.” in moments when the defender gets quickly and unjustifiably defensive, psychological defense mechanisms that are years in the making have been activated as a means of protecting their ego. those struggling should keep in mind that working through such an issue with a licensed therapist is one of the most effective ways to make sure that any decisions being made are healthy ones. there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma.
being defensive means the walls of the castle are high, the alligators are in the moat & it is very unlikely you can take in another point of view. this is crucial to the process of learning how to develop character. if you grow up with a critical parent then you can tune him/her out; and not absorbing it all is a good thing. people who are black and white in their thinking need to be right and never want to be questioned which is a very defensive position. in between the black and white is the gray of compromise. only through the pain of self-awareness is it possible to grow and change.
defensiveness is a way of preventing the pile of bad from becoming overwhelming. the key is acceptance instead of the defensiveness of pretending the bad is not there. learning to think through your beliefs and interrupting them means moving to a more complex sense of self which embraces both the good and the bad within and being less defensive. remember, greater self-awareness of your dark side can lead to better relationships with others. the healing goals listed after each personality style are the opposite of the core beliefs listed. having more range to the whole of who you are is the ultimate goal and you will be less defensive. they love the power of manipulating others.
a brief personality profile of the individual who gets easily defensive defensive individuals often have control and power issues, and defensiveness makes it hard to be honest with yourself. defensiveness means it’s harder to absorb honest feedback from others. defensiveness means you easily & a defensive person can be someone with narcissistic personality disorder. it can also be someone that is a regular victim of emotional abuse, defensive personality type, defensive personality type, aggressive defensive personality, defensive personality test, defensive behaviour psychology.
if someone points out a part of you that you want to change but feel helpless about, then you may respond in a defensive manner. a symptom of a mental health disorder. sometimes, defensiveness is part of a larger mental health problem such as a personality disorder, eating disorder, etc. a learned behavior. people with personality disorders often use “defense mechanisms”, or coping strategies, that allow them to deny responsibility for their feelings and actions. defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. this type of reaction to a problem may be easy to among these features, he listed the five following defense mechanisms: devaluation, omnipotence, primitive idealization, projective identification, and, what causes defensive behavior, defensiveness, why am i so defensive in my relationship, signs of defensive behavior, how to deal with defensive people, examples of defensive communication, examples of defensive behavior, defensiveness in relationships, defensive behavior in the workplace, how to stop being defensive.
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